Sacrament of Marriage and Weddings

Marriage Preparation - Contact: Deacon Brian Fabian

How to have a wedding at St. Mary's - click here

• The Diocese of Harrisburg Marriage Preparation Process takes 6-9 months and includes a few meetings with a priest or deacon, a mentoring process with a married couple, and a conference. This process will be further explained in your initial meeting with Fr. Brian Olkowski or Deacon Fabian. 

• Schedule your first meeting through Deacon Brian or by calling the office at 717.392.2578.  Please bring with you to this first meeting:
  1. The name and address of the church in which you were baptized or received into the Catholic Church (if Catholic) or a copy of a baptismal certificate if possible (if baptized non-Catholic);
  2. The names and email addresses of 4 witnesses (2 witnesses each) who know you well and can offer testimony of your freedom and readiness to marry (can be parents, siblings, friends).
• Complete the parish-based mentoring process. The cost of materials for the mentoring is $50.
• Sign up for and attend one of the diocesan conferences. Information will be provided at your first meeting with the pastor. The cost of the conferences ranges from $125-$400 depending on their length and location.
• Schedule a final meeting with Fr. Brian Olkowski after completing the mentors and conference to begin planning for the Liturgy itself.

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  Mentor Couples Coordinators: Andrew and Marika Ellis, 717.397.8554 For the married couples who will be mentoring the engaged couples:  Mentor Couple’s Report for pastor

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Weddings at St. Mary's Church

Fees

• For parishioners who have been registered for at least one year prior to reserving a wedding date and who regularly worship at St. Mary’s Church: $200 refundable deposit*
• For non-parishioners: $700. This fee includes a substantial gift to support the poor of our local community and various works of mercy the parish provides, funds to preserve our historic church for future generations, as well as stipends for the parish celebrant, and a $100 refundable deposit.*

*This deposit will be refunded if the library and any other facilities used by the wedding party are left in a clean,tidy manner and if the wedding begins on time. If not, then the deposit will be used to pay someone to clean the church/room(s) and/or divided among the musicians and liturgical ministers for their extra time waiting for the wedding to begin.

Flowers

• Sanctuary: Depending upon the liturgical season, there may or may not be flowers already in the sanctuary. If you decide to purchase flowers for your wedding, all flowers must be fresh (no artificial) and must remain in the church after the wedding. The church opens on Saturdays at 10:30 a.m. and will remain open all day for flower deliveries.
• Pews: Bows or flowers may be hung on the pews as long as no adhesive or damaging wires are used. There are 21 rows of pews.
• Rose petals: Not permitted.

Parking

• The parking garage across the street from St. Mary’s is privately owned by Lancaster Newspapers and managed by Colonial Parking. The cost is $2 for the first two hours and $1 for subsequent hours. For information about buying tickets in advance, please call 717.451.6268 or email [email protected].
• Depending upon other church events that may be occurring at the same time as your wedding, there may be some limited parking available in the schoolyard behind the school/convent.

Music

All music must be approved by Mike Bitts, [email protected] or 717.333.3173. You are responsible for hiring a cantor and/or musicians. 

Only music that falls within the wedding music guidelines of the Diocese of Harrisburg is permissible for your wedding at St. Mary’s.

Please contact wedding music coordinator Mike Bitts,  or 717.333.3173,
as soon as possible to begin the process of selecting your wedding music.
 

Meetings

Once you have contacted an accompanist and cantor, the wedding music coordinator will schedule a meeting with all concerned to select the music for your wedding. Please remember that our wedding music coordinator must review and approve all music that is selected.

Protocol

Unless they are family friends, it is not necessary to invite the musicians and vocalists to your reception or rehearsal dinner. Musicians do not attend or play at your wedding rehearsal, unless there are specific concerns.

Additional information as outlined above:
Wedding Music for Mass planner
Wedding Musicians and Cantors

Video

A personalized video of your wedding can be produced. The cost is $225. Please make prior arrangements by calling the office at 717.392.2578

Unity Candle

The use of the unity candle within wedding Liturgies is not permitted in the Diocese of Harrisburg. If desired, couples may use the candle at the reception in conjunction with a meal blessing or toast. An outline for such can be found here: https://togetherforlifeonline.com/unity-candle-ceremony/.

Miscellaneous

• Tossing items such as confetti, bird seed or rice, or the releasing of balloons or doves is not permitted. Bubbles are allowed outside of the church building.
• Weddings during the season of Lent (typically February through early April): Due to the penitential nature of this season of preparation before Easter, weddings are discouraged. If one chooses to get married in Lent, decorations are permitted only by special approval, and if given they must be very simple. For example, very few candles are lit; only a small bouquet of flowers by the altar; nothing permitted on the pews; etc.

Aisle Runner

Due to the many risks associated with aisle runners, they are no longer permitted at Historic St. Mary’s.